Shalom

This is a messy post, cause I realize that I am wrestling and struggling with the idea of shalom...peace. Though it actually means so much more than just 'peace'...that is just the word that we use to translate the Hebrew or Greek.

Shalom seems to mean a place, either external or internal, that has persistent joy, well-being, harmony, prosperity, love, loyalty, truth, grace, salvation, justice and blessing. I have realized that often in places or times of complexity, stress and anxiety, that I live for the future. I say things like, 'Oh, when this is over, things will mellow out and be OK'. But, I seem to do that a lot.

What I read in the Bible is choosing to live in peace, right where you're at, right in your circumstances. I'm realizing I don't do that very well. I think I'm OK with a bit of angst, or dissatisfaction of status quo. But, I can live in an unhealthy place of 'wishing' things would be different or better, without prayer included in the equation.

Just wishing won't do much. I need to take the steps that God is putting in front of me. It affects my family, friends, and my job. I want to pursue shalom, right where I am...even if things don't change.

I love that in Jeremiah 29:7 God challenges the Israelites to 'seek the shalom of the city where I have sent you into exile, and pray to the Lord on its behalf, for in its shalom you will find your shalom.'

However challenging the circumstances are, we can pray and experience shalom. I know I want that, but more importantly need that.

Family pics

So, depending on when you click on this link it should go to a site with pictures of our little family...also you can click on a slideshow. If you come to the site after a week or so of this posting you might have to hunt around to find it. But, check it out, the pics turned out great!

http://blog.christopherwrenphoto.com/?p=248

Book of Life

The second conversation with Carter came at a conference our family was at. He came up to me and said, "Daddy, I'm sad". So of course, I asked him, "why son?".

He responded, "My name isn't in the Bible...there is no Carter in the Bible." Again, warm gushy feelings are welling up in me as I share with him that he is right, there is no Carter in the Bible, but that his name...his full name and his REAL name is in another book that the Bible talks about. His name is in the Book of Life.

This all happened when we were helping send 12 teams of college students around the globe to share God's love with people...and it as such a great reminder that as cool as it is to be 'on mission', it is much more meaningful to know God personally and be in the Book of Life.

On the floor

I recently had a couple conversations with our son Carter that seemed to have a theological bent. the first was a conversation at the dinner table one night. Somehow dying came up as a topic [I think it sprung off a conversation about the movie Wall-E, cause Carter thinks he dies in the movie]...and Carter piped up that 'Because Jesus died on the cross for us, we don't have to die on the cross."

Now taken just as it is, my heart was warmed, I was stunned at his knowledge of who God is and what God has done for him, and amazed that at such a young age he could grasp all this.

Of course, in reality, Carter wasn't done with his thought and he continued... "so we will probably die in bed...or on the floor".

Mmmm...good!

A good cup of coffee can bring such pleasure. Now, I'm not a hard core fanatic...I don't think at least...since I haven't yet roasted my own beans; but, I know a good cup from a watery hack when I see/taste it.

Luckily for us, the Italians came up with pressurized espresso. So magical. The little crema at the top. Add a little raw sugar and it's just like the darkest chocolate. I can't get enough. Of course when my hands are twitching and I get the 'jimmy legs' in bed, there are issues. But, it can be pure bliss.

Of course the opposite is true. When you order espresso from a large chain with a mermaid as it's symbol, things go bad...fast. First, there is never any crema...what the heck?? Is something wrong with the machine? Do they not know how to roast the beans? And usually it is barely warm. And if you order it 'for here' to get a little foofy cup, they don't pre-heat it...!? What planet are they on, Uranus?

So, to be clear, I like coffee strong and dark. No sugar [except for the aforementioned, espresso]. I don't want to ever see my cup in any form when I look into it. I don't want to see the sides, and if I see the bottom, I will assume you've given me tea.

How long is it till later?

This morning, pre-dawn, I was in the living room with my 3 kids. They have all decided that even with a time change, it is still important to get up before there is light, birds chirping, or coffee brewed. Anyway, we were out in the living room and inevitably, I will be asked to get up off the couch I am planted in to do something, get something, or make something.

This morning, like most mornings, where I am faced with this dilemma, I say something brilliant like, "I can do that a little later." Later, always meaning, 'sometime in the future when my buttocks is not stuck to this couch.'

This morning, though...after a few minutes of future had become past, my son posed a deeply profound question to me, "Daddy, how long is it till later?" I looked at him realizing many things: he is more patient than I thought; his sense of time is improving; he cares deeply about setting up his online world of Build-a-Bear [which had started all this in the first place]; being a 'daddy' here is unplugging myself from the couch and getting into his world for a few minutes.

This morning was great, because for a few minutes, I was "Daddy", a daddy who could be a part of my son's life and do something meaningful to him.

Leaky Waders

It's kinda lame when you wake up at 4:00 AM full of anticipation to catch some trout...drive a couple hours on adrenaline and coffee to find a lake you've never fished, but heard good rumors about...pay to fish, freeze your caboodle off gearing and rigging up...pick out the perfect fly to launch into still water...hike through spiky planted brush...which digs into your flesh and tears it's share off as an offering...wade slowly into the crisp 56 degree water...pull out some line to cast as a BREEZE starts to ruffle up the water...then realize, at what is still 0-dark early, that you have leaky waders.

THE fishing hole

I couldn't wait too long to continue from my last post. As much as I may have taken some time to think about the river and spirituality, I was there to catch some fish.

That was the main reason to drive 5 hours [6 if I was legal] and eat my $1.95 breakfast at Kmart in Bishop...catching FISH. Trout to be specific; Rainbow Trout to be particular.

So, after getting skunked at the Lower Owens, driving an additional 40 minutes to the Upper Owens and trudging through knee high snow, I was at the river. It was beautiful.

This part of California is awesome in the winter. Looking west, rising out of the valley were the Sierra Nevada's, COVERED with snow this year. There are also some mountains to the east, and I'm lame; I don't know what they are called. But, this year even they had a ton of snow.

The Owens, just cuts through the valley. Turns all over the place, kinda meandering. The air was fairly butt-cold [at least for a surfer from So Cal]. A crisp 30 degrees with a slight breeze. The sun was out and as I stepped carefully towards the river I saw a trout rising. Now after getting skunked for a couple hours, my heart was doing palpitations seeing a trout rise.

Common sense told me that THIS IS WINTER. I should be nymphing, with like size 20 [freaky small for the non-fishing folk] little zebra midges, trailing behind something else. But, here was a trout rising.

So, even though my pole was rigged, I cut it all off and stuck on a dry fly, caddis something. On the fourth cast, BAM. Fish on. So good. About a 10 inch wild Rainbow. At least as wild as they get here. Beautiful colors. A perfect moment.

I made a few more casts [read: 30 minutes] as I rounded the next bend and saw a big turn in the river. The way the water hit the turn, it pushed left with gravity, but pushed an eddy to the right as well. It was a fairly large pool, maybe 20X20. What I saw next, seemed like it should be happening to John Gierach or something. Fish rising. EVERYWHERE.

I thought I wasn't seeing what I was seeing. Pockets of fish popping up all over the hole. In the seams, out of the seams, along the banks, in the middle, EVERYWHERE.

So, I just started casting...and catching. In the next couple hours I landed 10 bows all between 8-12 inches. It was magical. To take in my surroundings, and feel like I actually knew what I was doing. It was total Mastercard. I wasn't sure I deserved it, but I felt BLESSED. Fishing doesn't get this good for me or most people I know. I felt humbled and special. I wanted to put it all in a package.

I caught a few more, but felt greedy. I was hoarding. What made the time even better, was actually calling my buddy over and sharing the fun. It's also why, between me and him, it will always be known as THE fishing hole.